There are essentially two kinds of people in this world, those with a victim mentality and those with a victor mentality. Both interpret the world totally different based on their mindset. The victim views an obstacle as an unfair challenge and the victor view obstacles as an opportunity to conquer and win.
How you view yourself has nothing to do with the color of your skin, or the community in which you were raised, or how you grew up. Many people have overcome racism, poverty and parent issues to accomplish great things, and others in affluent settings become defeatist and full of self-loathing and failure. It is not the circumstances that determine which mindset you have, but it is how you view yourself and how you react to life that makes that determination.
We should never entertain a victim mindset. The world is full of people captivated by this mindset and it has resulted in millions of people enslaved and unable to realize their true potential, and lo and behold, we transfer this victim mindset to our children.
One of the biggest gifts you can give your children is the knowing that they are victors not victims. Teach them that everybody is going to have challenges in life but this is no excuse to cower in a corner and feel sorry for yourself. Teach them that as you get older, if you don’t help yourself nobody else can help you.
They have to be the head and not the tail, be above and not beneath, use their creativity to become entrepreneurial, and be leaders and not followers of group think. Millions are caught up in a victim mentality because they are ignorantly following the “group think” of their peers, the media, their political party or their culture.
It is mostly attitudes and not circumstances that define people.
Contrasting the victim and victorious mindset:
- The victim believes the world is against them / the victor believes the world needs them.
- The victim sees a challenge as an obstacle / the victor sees the obstacle as an opportunity.
- The victim blames others for their failure / the victor takes personal responsibility for success or failure.
- The victim depends on handouts from others to succeed / the victor makes do with what they already have to succeed and builds on it.
- The victim is never satisfied and always looking for something more / the victor is grateful for what they already have and build upon that for more in life.
- The victim feels like everybody owes them something / the victor believe nobody owes them anything.
- The victim lives off other people / the victor lives to bless other people.
- The victim will end his days bitter / the victor will end his days happy and satisfied.
- The victim only sees closed doors / the victor only sees open doors.
- The victim spreads a negative attitude to others / the victor spreads a positive attitude.
- The victim is pessimistic / the victor is optimistic.
- The victim gives up quickly if they don’t succeed / the victor doesn’t quit until they succeed in spite of the odds.
- The victim has few real friends / the victor empowers and makes many friends.
- The victim repels people / the victor attracts people.
- The victim is always fighting for “their rights”/ the victor lives to champion the rights of others.
- The victim has a critical spirit and is judgmental of others / the victor blesses others.
- The victim imagines people are against him / the victor imagines people are for him.
- The victim plays on the emotions of others / the victor releases the passion of others.
- The victim uses people for what they can get from them / the victor is a catalyst to inspire people to flourish.
- The victim looks for someone else to blame / the victor takes responsibility when things go wrong.
- The victim sees the future as a dark and scary place / the victor look ahead with optimism and hope.
- The victim sees talented people as potential threats / the victor see talented people as potential team-mates.
- The victim thinks that life would be better if only everyone else would develop and grow / the victor is aware of their need to continue to develop and grow.
- The victim worries about the future / the victor plan for the future.
- The victim goes wherever the currents take them / the victor paddle their boat where they want it to go.
- The victim follows the path of least resistance / the victor regularly does the hard things.
- The victim can’t imagine being anything else and feel trapped / the victor can’t imagine being anything else and feel free.
Victor or victim.
Which one are you?
It is your choice!
Remember guys, it is your ATTITUDE and not your APTITUDE that determines your ALTITUDE!
In the next blog post we will explore how you can overcome a victim mentality.